Koleżanka wychodzi przed biuro na papieroska. Przyłazi facet z biura adwokata położonego naprzeciwko i próbuje podrywać:
- Pani Agnieszko, jaki szaliczek zielony! Prawie jak u adwokata. Wygląda pani (tu nadchodzi szczyt jego możliwości intelektualnych)... jak pan mecenas!
wtorek, 25 listopada 2008
wtorek, 18 listopada 2008
Coś mi tu śmierdzi
Przyszedł klient (starszy pan w zniszczonym płaszczu) z dwoma listami i pytaniem "co on ma zrobić": jeden to jakiś kupon lotto z Hiszpanii, na dodatek po polsku, a drugi... no, to trzeba przeczytać:
Dear Sir,
Before I proceed, I must first apologize for his unsolicited Lester to you. I am aware that this is certainly not a conventional way of approach to establish a relationship of trust, but you will realize the need for my action. My name is Barrister David M. Lawrence an English Solicitor working with ABL ASSOCIATES with address Maiquez 12, Madrit 28009, Spain. Actually, I got your contact information from your country’s public records while searching for a last name similar to my late client, a business mogul who had casinos and restaurants, lived in Spain for many years. On the 21st of April 2004, my client, his wife and their one child were involved in a car accident along Madrid express road. All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives.
Before his death, on my advice as his lawyer he deposited One Trunk Box/Diplomatic Personal Treasure, containing the sum of $6,5 M (six million five hundred thousand US dollars) cash with a security company here in Spain, on a highly security form but he did not disclosed the content of deposited diplomatic consignment to the company, for security reasons. The security company has mandated me to present any family heir/inheritor for claims, before the consignment gets confiscated or reverts to the Bureau of Diplomatic Security, as unclaimed diplomatic immunity. So I decided to search for any of my late client’s relative which has been very difficult for me, as he did not declare any other person, address, partner or relatives in the official paper works of his diplomatic consignment deposit. Mr Johannes was my privet client. I will not like you to involve any third party in this transaction, just me and you. Besides I am doing this on my own personal capacity and do not wish to bring my office into it.
Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I will like you as foreigner to stand as the next of kin to my client, since you both share the same last name so that the diplomatic consignment will be released to you. With my position as his lawyer, I will no place your name as the next of kin to my late client. I will prepare every relevant document that will assist your claims. Note that this transaction is 100% risk free; there is no atom of risk in connection to this business as I have worked out all modalities to complete the transaction successfully beside as lawyer I have a licence to protect. Once the diplomatic consignment is released to you we have to discuss what percentage you have to give me for my involvement. If this proposal does offend your moral values please pardon me otherwise replay via my private email address: [davidmiguellawrence@yahoo.com] or you can call me on tel no +34 677 685 970 for further clarification. Please be kind to get back to me if you are not interested so that I can further my search for another partner.
Best regards
Barrister David M. Lawrence (ESQ)
Zlecił tłumaczenie, nie ma problemu. Ale nie dawało mi to spokoju. Wpisałam David Lawrence + barrister do gugla i co widzę? http://www.antifraudintl.org/showthread.php?p=36876
Ciekawe, co klient z tym zrobi? Ciąg dalszy nastąpi (I hope not!).
Dear Sir,
Before I proceed, I must first apologize for his unsolicited Lester to you. I am aware that this is certainly not a conventional way of approach to establish a relationship of trust, but you will realize the need for my action. My name is Barrister David M. Lawrence an English Solicitor working with ABL ASSOCIATES with address Maiquez 12, Madrit 28009, Spain. Actually, I got your contact information from your country’s public records while searching for a last name similar to my late client, a business mogul who had casinos and restaurants, lived in Spain for many years. On the 21st of April 2004, my client, his wife and their one child were involved in a car accident along Madrid express road. All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives.
Before his death, on my advice as his lawyer he deposited One Trunk Box/Diplomatic Personal Treasure, containing the sum of $6,5 M (six million five hundred thousand US dollars) cash with a security company here in Spain, on a highly security form but he did not disclosed the content of deposited diplomatic consignment to the company, for security reasons. The security company has mandated me to present any family heir/inheritor for claims, before the consignment gets confiscated or reverts to the Bureau of Diplomatic Security, as unclaimed diplomatic immunity. So I decided to search for any of my late client’s relative which has been very difficult for me, as he did not declare any other person, address, partner or relatives in the official paper works of his diplomatic consignment deposit. Mr Johannes was my privet client. I will not like you to involve any third party in this transaction, just me and you. Besides I am doing this on my own personal capacity and do not wish to bring my office into it.
Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I will like you as foreigner to stand as the next of kin to my client, since you both share the same last name so that the diplomatic consignment will be released to you. With my position as his lawyer, I will no place your name as the next of kin to my late client. I will prepare every relevant document that will assist your claims. Note that this transaction is 100% risk free; there is no atom of risk in connection to this business as I have worked out all modalities to complete the transaction successfully beside as lawyer I have a licence to protect. Once the diplomatic consignment is released to you we have to discuss what percentage you have to give me for my involvement. If this proposal does offend your moral values please pardon me otherwise replay via my private email address: [davidmiguellawrence@yahoo.com] or you can call me on tel no +34 677 685 970 for further clarification. Please be kind to get back to me if you are not interested so that I can further my search for another partner.
Best regards
Barrister David M. Lawrence (ESQ)
Zlecił tłumaczenie, nie ma problemu. Ale nie dawało mi to spokoju. Wpisałam David Lawrence + barrister do gugla i co widzę? http://www.antifraudintl.org/showthread.php?p=36876
Ciekawe, co klient z tym zrobi? Ciąg dalszy nastąpi (I hope not!).
poniedziałek, 17 listopada 2008
Poniedziałek
Nie dość, że mam obite auto z dwóch stron (zaliczyłam bramę i płot), to na domiar złego rozwaliłam kółko w nowej szafce na dokumenty. Po prostu nie dałam jej rady nieść do biura. P. zapytał przez telefon, czy auto całe. Cóż. Całe. Na razie.
O 10.00 telefon: dzień dobry, ja mam u pani odebrać tłumaczenie? Że que? To proszę przyjść. Przylazł. Daje dokument. Hmm, wygląda znajomo. Zaaraz... to to, co miesiąc temu ktoś wysłał mi skan na maila, miał odebrać, ale jak usłyszał cenę po zrobieniu tłumaczenia to się więcej nie odezwał. Klient skołowany i zaczyna opowiadać: że zlecił to w biurze tłumaczeń X. Twierdzili, że tłumacz nie może się rozczytać, że musieli to przepisywać itd. Zwodzili go przez miesiąc, aż w końcu jego szef pyta: "Gdzie jest k... to tłumaczenie?" to się do nich przejechał. Pamiętał, że jak był u nich pierwszy raz, to była rozruba, bo przyszła osoba z innego biura (w tym samym biurowcu), żeby "wyrazić swoje niezawodolenie", że dwaj panowie (najwyraźniej własciciele biura) zachowują się za głośno. Tym razem jeden z tych panów miał podbite oczy. :D Oba.
Konkluzja: zawsze trzymać kopie tłumaczeń. Dzięki temu jednak klient odebrał tłumaczenie, ale zapłacił 2x więcej względem tego, co mu wmawiali, że zapłaci. LOL.
O 10.00 telefon: dzień dobry, ja mam u pani odebrać tłumaczenie? Że que? To proszę przyjść. Przylazł. Daje dokument. Hmm, wygląda znajomo. Zaaraz... to to, co miesiąc temu ktoś wysłał mi skan na maila, miał odebrać, ale jak usłyszał cenę po zrobieniu tłumaczenia to się więcej nie odezwał. Klient skołowany i zaczyna opowiadać: że zlecił to w biurze tłumaczeń X. Twierdzili, że tłumacz nie może się rozczytać, że musieli to przepisywać itd. Zwodzili go przez miesiąc, aż w końcu jego szef pyta: "Gdzie jest k... to tłumaczenie?" to się do nich przejechał. Pamiętał, że jak był u nich pierwszy raz, to była rozruba, bo przyszła osoba z innego biura (w tym samym biurowcu), żeby "wyrazić swoje niezawodolenie", że dwaj panowie (najwyraźniej własciciele biura) zachowują się za głośno. Tym razem jeden z tych panów miał podbite oczy. :D Oba.
Konkluzja: zawsze trzymać kopie tłumaczeń. Dzięki temu jednak klient odebrał tłumaczenie, ale zapłacił 2x więcej względem tego, co mu wmawiali, że zapłaci. LOL.
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